My GCSE Creative Writing Project - Grade: A

Here’s something a bit different this week.

It is the story I wrote when I was 16 for my GCSE English creative writing project.

I have just read a little bit and cringed hard. There are some mistakes that I haven’t edited as well. But it must be okay because I got an A for it.

I don’t have a title for it - perhaps you can suggest one for me…

Anyway, here it is.

Photo by Jaredd Craig on Unsplash

“Typical!” exclaimed Alex as he slumped into the old dusty armchair and sighed. “I don't think, if I remember correctly, that I have ever hated anyone more than Finny. Foul Finny should be his name.” spat Alex, cringing as he mentioned the name Finny.

“Don't worry.” said Jon reassuringly. “The selection isn't for two days which gives up plenty of time to get into old Mr Taylor's good books. We have been waiting for this trip far too long to let Foul Finny go, and leave us two here accompanied by nothing but this horrendous weather.”

The weather forecast had just died a death as Jon had unplugged the television. It had been the same forecast for the last two weeks. Rain. Thunderstorms. Freezing. Jon and Alex were room mates and sat in silence in their shabby on-site accommodation only to have the silence broken by thunder and the window pane being battered with rain. The wind whistled in a ghoulish manner.

Jon and Alex had been best friends since they were eleven and twelve. They were at Durham University studying law; they had always wanted to be barristers. They had also chosen this university because Jon's mum had moved away from Manchester, where Jon and Alex were from, to live with her boyfriend. The final reason that they had gone to Durham because the gymnasium they were members at was only a few minutes drive from the house. They were often mistaken as twins as they were both well built and tall. They had similar short, brown hair with the same styled spikes. It appeared they were competing to tell the best jokes and were known for their hilarious sense of humour.

Two days had past and the selection for which goes on the trip had come. Over the last two days Alex and Jon had done everything in their power to persuade their teacher, Mr Taylor, to favour them over Finny. The duo had all work for the deadlines set, made Mr Taylor countless cups of coffee, tidied the classroom and even offered to walk MR Taylor's dog. The classroom was buzzing with second year law students discussing how great the opportunity to go to New York would be. Disappointingly, there were only three spaces, Mr Taylor taking one of them, leaving two spaces for students.

“Are you ready to hear who's been chosen then? Said Mr Taylor bursting through the door, instantly killing the atmosphere like someone being executed by the guillotine. 

Mr Taylor was a confident, middle aged man who spoke whatever was on his mind whatever the situation. He was balding on the crown and had incredibly even stubble spread on his face.

“Finny, sit down and stop showing off in front of all the females that I strongly suspect are not fond of you. It would not surprise me if you already had your bags packed for New York which, I might add, you will not be attending. Alex and Jon have hopefully packed their bags.” finished Mr Taylor with a grin.

Alex and Jon thrived off Mr Taylor's mocking of Finny, which he did with every opportunity, and were still relishing the moment and had not taken a minute to register what had just been announced.

“Wha`? Me? Us? Spluttered Jon.

“Yes. We leave at six AM sharp.” Mr Taylor winked at them and left the room.

Six O clock the following morning Mr Taylor, Jon and Alex had packed their luggage into the boot of Mr Taylor's BMW X5 and were driving to the airport to catch their eight-thirty flight to New York. Two hours before the flight with nothing to do apart from look at duty free that they couldn't afford and buy a Nuts magazine from WHSmiths, their patience was wearing thin and the saliva dripping off Jon's chin showed that their concentration was still in bed.

“Hey is that... Jon I'm sure I just saw Finny.”

“And I'm sure I just saw Katie Price taking off her...” he began groggily. “Fin... What? Finny?” Finished Jon, instantly stirring.

“Its your tired minds” started Mr Taylor, appearing as suddenly as Jon had awoken with three plastic cups full of steaming coffee he had purchased from the nearby vending machine

“Will everybody kindly sit down and fasten your seatbelts we will be landing very shortly. I hope you have all enjoyed the flight and enjoy your stay in New York, thank you.” the pilot’s voice rang out from the speaker and had awoke Mr Taylor who had been drifting in and out of sleep throughout the flight. Alex and Jon however had been awake and had been aware of an eerie man with a handlebar moustache and a bald head staring at them for the duration. It had made the pair extremely fidgety and they took the odd sideways glance only to be met by the glaring eyes of the stranger. Only they could not help but think they had seen him before...

There was a long winding gravel driveway leading up to the mansion, cutting through a beautiful garden. The lush green grass cut to precision caught their eyes for a few seconds more before the giant of a mansion towered before them. Despite the lovely garden, the mansion had an air to it. As they approached, the air became dense and their breathing heavy. After wanting the place on the trip more than anything, they would have given the world to be back in rainy Britain. Raindrops began to fall slowly on to the windscreen and they didn't waste their time in getting faster or heavier. It was like the rain had a magnetic attraction to Alex and Jon. The three of them unpacked their luggage from the boot of the car and banged on the door knocker which was in the shape of a gargoyles head. The huge oak doors swung open to reveal an even bigger hallway. The banister at the end of the spiral staircase was inhabited by a gargoyle carved into the wood on either side. They proceeded through some double doors which lead into the lounge where three people sat on two, three seated sofas greeted them. There was an empty three seated sofa next to the others forming a horseshoe in front of a grand concrete fireplace. A door to the left lead to the dining room and a door on the right lead to a gallery of paintings. The walls were plastered with paintings in the recently vacated hallway and as far up the stairs as they could see.

“Well hello there, my name is Terrance and I'm the law teacher from Oxford. These are my students Tammy and Grace” the two girls smiled pleasantly at the new arrivals.

“Hi, I'm Gregory, teaching at Cambridge. This is William, he doesn't talk much but he's top of the class. His equal, JT, has also accompanied us on our stay in this fine house. We were told to wait here for the new butler so he can show us to our rooms.

Terrance and Gregory were very similar. Middle aged and greying middle class men who were smartly dressed and were well mannered. Tammy had shoulder length brown hair with blonde streaks in her fringe. She was very tall and slim with pale skin. All in all she was a quite attractive young woman. Grace was the opposite. Quite a large girl, with round rosy cheeks. Curls of ginger hair hung from her head like a retired pair of boxing gloves on a hook. She spoke with a snake like lisp. All in all `Grace` was not an appropriate name for the clumsy lummox's that sat before them.

William was casually dressed in baggy jeans and a loose fitting T-shirt. His short blonde hair projected his tanned skin like a cars headlamp in the night. JT was from an African background with braided hair snaking round his scalp. He wore his black jeans low and a Black Wall Street hooded top. He was built like a brick wall with slabs of muscle taking over his entire body. He was the sort of person who you would feel safe walking down a dark alley with but the last person you would want to bump into in a dark alley.

The butler arrived shortly after they were all introduced. He was a shortish man with a thin beard running down his jaw shaping his head. He wore a tuxedo and a pair of white gloves. A faint smell of tobacco drifted off him as the guests were shown to their rooms. The butler still didn't have name and nobody thought he was an approachable sort of man so they accepted that he was just going to be the butler.

At tea time that evening the message went round the table, between the students, that they were to meet at midnight to stay up late and enjoy the night.

“Hey Grace, how long will you be getting ready? Iv been ready for twenty minutes.” moaned Tammy. She was quite patient but it was wearing thin. She also didn't want to be late for their meeting.

“Sorry, I'll meet you down there.”

“OK. Hurry up though. See you soon.”

Tammy shut her door carefully taking care not to wake any of the teachers. She hurried down the corridor and whisked herself down the staircase adjacent to the spiral staircase at the front of the house. She found the others on isle E in the library which had been described to her in the note written by Jon.

“Were you seen by anyone on your way?” asked JT. JT was cautious having grown up in rough area.

“No.” said Tammy although she had the distinct feeling she was being watched all the way down.

“Soooo, where's Grace? She not fancy a late night?” Asked Jon.

“She told me she'll meet us all down here. I suppose we should wait here for her so she doesn't think she's lost.”

“OK but she's going to miss the first ghost story.” said Alex.

The chain of events for the night were as follows, search the kitchen for alcohol, tell ghost stories for an hour or two, finally, look around the mansion from top to bottom and find a suitable room to drink the beer and get to know each other. Alex, Jon and JT took the liberty of setting up a ring of candles for added effect during the stories. The flames climbed up the walls onto the ceiling, creating eerie shadows. Everybody watched intently as Jon began telling his story. Everybody except Grace...

“And the body was never found...” Jon rounded off his thrilling story expertly. The expressions on some people’s faces were priceless to him so he waited a few seconds before he spoke again, “The End.”

A quiet round of applause was short lived because William had noticed that Grace has still absent.

“I'll go to our room and drag her down” sighed Tammy.

The four males were together, not speaking, for five minutes when JT rose from his seat purposefully.

“Just nipping to the loo, don't start another story without me.” he said jestingly before departing.

“Grace?” called out Tammy when she walked into her bedroom.

No answer.

“Grace, you’re going to miss a good night.” Tammy peered into the bathroom to find it empty. Then in Graces sleeping area. Empty.

“She must have taken the other stairs.” thought Tammy aloud. She scuttled out of the room and headed back to the others.

William lit a cigarette and drew on it. He sat for a minute blowing lungful of smoke into the air rather noisily.

“I'm going to grab JT before we end up calling it a day and going to bed. I'll see you in a minute OK.”

And with that William was gone and Jon and Alex were alone. William stubbed out his cigarette out in the metal stand with sand in it by the door before his exit.

“More beer for us then.” grinned Alex.

“Yeah let's go and get one.”

With that they were up and out of the library and into the kitchen. They made two rounds of toast and drank two bottles of beer each before deciding to look for a room to hang out in. they would consult the others once they had found one.

“Hey, has Grace turned up? She isn't in our room.” Tammy said on her way into the library.

She was greeted by the energetic motion of the candles and a deafening silence.

She noticed a smouldering cigarette in the sand tray. It told her she wasn't far behind her friends. She hurried through the opposite door, down the corridor into the kitchen. The sound of her opening the door muffled the sound of Jon closing the other door on his way out. She didn't notice and began taking in her surroundings. The open fridge door caught her eye first. Its contents were still cold which meant it wasn't left open for long, she could still be about twenty minutes behind the culprit. She spun on her heel to make for the door Jon had just closed. 

She stopped.

“Warm.” Tammy spoke the single word hovering her hand above the toaster.

On the third floor, Tammy was looking out of some French windows onto the backyard lawn. A look of despair etched on her face. Was she alone in the house? Where was everyone?

“Hello!” Tammy bellowed down the corridor.

“What about in here ey?” said Jon.

“Yeah, let's have a look.” replied Alex. 

The room was on the second floor. From the outside the room looked the same as all the rooms. When they got in they were not prepared for what their eyes were about to witness. The room was hell. Had the room opened up and swallowed them? The faded flowery wallpaper was grubby and strips were peeling down like they had had an argument with the concrete beneath and wanted to get away. A metal operating table sat at the far end of the room with an assortment of sharp nasty looking instruments, accompanied by a roll of grey duck tape, a length of rope, a lock pick and a camera. On the floor was a bag which Alex began to investigate. He tipped its contents onto the operating table and froze, pondering the situation. All the knives and so on, duck tape and rope, a lock pick, a camera and a bag containing all the teachers and students passports and wallets and purses with all their money.

“Somebody doesn't want us here.” said Alex finally. “Or they don't want us to leave. What is the camera for though?”

“I can't quite work out where it fit's in.” said Jon sounding puzzled scooping up the camera.

On the camera Jon found picture of all of them. They were from throughout the day. Starting with the car dropping them off to when they were eating tea. He dropped the camera and stepped back, horrified. 

On that note they heard a key turn in the lock.

“Quick, behind here.”

Alex grabbed Jon's arm and dragged him behind some floor to ceiling curtains with spy holes made courtesy of the moths.

The butler strolled in, straight to the table of goodies.

“Somebody's been a bit too nosy haven't they?” he said creepily to himself.

Alex kicked himself for not tidying up the evidence he had left out.

The butler walked over to a large cube covered with a sheet which neither Jon nor Alex noticed. The butler lifted off the sheet and immediately replaced it as if checking something like a crocodile checking its eggs. He walked briskly out of the room and all was quiet again.

“I knew he was up to something.” said Jon emerging from the hiding place. “Did you see what was under that cloth?”

“Yes.”

All of their friends were tied up and had duck tape over their mouths. All of them except Tammy. They both understood the seriousness of the situation. Their holiday had taken a turn for the worst and had turned into a rescue mission dramatically quick.

“I can't ring the police my mobile has no signal and the landlines been cut.”

“Its in our hands now Jon, lets do this. “Said Alex nodding his head once and setting off to the door. He opened it a tiny bit, saw the coast was clear and crept out. Shuffling silently towards the stairs they turned to each other, eye to eye, and saw fear in each others.”I'll go up, you go down.” With that Alex was climbing the stairs two at a time. When he reached the top he saw a shadow disappear round the corner and proceeded after it cautiously. He was slipping between the dark areas stealthily keeping him from being seen. The butler was carrying a knife from the table and a syringe filled with a clear liquid that had settled menacingly at in it. Alex knew he had to get to the butler quickly because he was approaching Tammy as quiet as a ballerina. If he was too slow the liquid would kill her. He had to act now. With a sudden burst of pace Alex was tearing towards him.

“Where is everyone?” Tammy mumbled.

At that same second she heard the wind being knocked out of somebody right behind her and saw him crash through the French windows and land on the floor three stories lower. He died on impact. Alex was clinging onto the edge by his finger tips.

“Help me. Tammy. Please.” He whispered.

Tammy was screaming for help and was rooted to the spot unable to provide it herself. Just as Alex's grip was lost and he began his long fall Jon tore round the corner, dropped to his stomach and clamped a hand round Alex's forearm and pulled him to safety with an almighty groan. They both lay there, breathless while hugging the tearful Tammy. They looked down at the butler and were horrified yet again to see the butlers disguise being blown off his face to reveal none other than Finny...

The End.